"If You Can Read This You're Standing Too Close To Me" Funny Social Distance Graphic Tee
Finally, a shirt for people who believe personal space is not a suggestion—it’s a fucking requirement.
Featuring bold neon colors, retro starbursts, and the subtlety of a brick through a window, this tee lets everyone know exactly where they stand: too damn close. It’s basically a wearable “back up” sign for introverts, professional side-eyers, and anyone who considers unsolicited human proximity a personal attack.
Soft, sturdy cotton keeps you comfortable while the loud pop-art graphic handles the social boundaries you’re too tired to explain. Perfect for errands, concerts, coffee runs, markets, parties, or anywhere some random stranger decides standing three inches behind you is perfectly reasonable.
Bright. Sarcastic. Slightly hostile. Surprisingly comfortable.
Because sometimes “excuse me” is too polite, and a restraining order feels like overkill.
Product features
- 100% cotton (solid colors) — medium weight 180 g/m² for year-round comfort
- Tubular knit construction — no side seams for a clean, waste-reducing finish
- Ribbed, elastic collar and shoulder tape for shape retention and durability
- Dual printing: DTF for sleeves/labels and DTG for main chest artwork — crisp, detailed color
- OEKO-TEX® certified, tear-away label, made in Nicaragua with ethical US cotton sourcing
Care instructions
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Do not iron
- Do not dryclean
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: low heat
| S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | 5XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 | 32.00 |
| Length, in | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 | 34.00 | 35.00 |
| Sleeve length (from center back), in | 15.10 | 16.50 | 18.00 | 19.50 | 21.00 | 22.40 | 23.70 | 25.00 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
Fabric
Made from specially spun fibers that make a very strong and smooth fabric that is perfect for printing. The "Natural" color is made with unprocessed cotton, which results in small black flecks throughout the fabric
Without side seams
Knitted in one piece using tubular knit, it reduces fabric waste and makes the garment more attractive
Ribbed knit collar without seam
Ribbed knit makes the collar highly elastic and helps retain its shape
Shoulder tape
Twill tape covers the shoulder seams to stabilize the back of the garment and prevent stretching
Fiber composition
Solid colors are 100% cotton; Heather colors, Tweed, and Russet are 50% cotton, 50% polyester; Sport Grey and Antique colors are 90% cotton, 10% polyester;
Age restrictions
For adults
Warranty
EU warranty - 2 years
Other compliance information
Meets the flammability, lead, cadmium, phthalates and formaldehyde level requirements.
Country of origin
Made in Nicaragua
Dual Printing Techniques
Sleeve prints (for Print Clever and Underground Threads) and inner neck labels are printed using Direct-to-Film (DTF) printing, ensuring crisp, detailed designs. Meanwhile, the remaining print areas are produced with Direct-to-Garment (DTG) printing.
Non-chlorine: bleach as needed; Do not iron; Do not dryclean; Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F); Tumble dry: low heat.
Accurate shipping options will be available in checkout after entering your full address.
Any goods purchased can only be returned in accordance with the Terms and Conditions and Returns Policy.
We want to make sure that you are satisfied with your order and we are committed to making things right in case of any issues. We will provide a solution in cases of any defects if you contact us within 30 days of receiving your order.
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